Fear of flying

 

 

A sea gull cries over me in the park as I exercise

My arms swinging old weights as the bird floats

Above me weightless

Its wings spread like mine

Only he rises’

And I sink

 

Somewhere an old song by The Supremes

Comes to mind,

About being set free,

 

And the bird floats

Into the gray fog

Vanishing at moments

But not its cries

 

The ground is still wet from the down pour

My shoes squeak as I moved through

A ritual I only half believe

 

The bird’s cries

sound like my cries

Only her cries are overjoyed

And mine

Over losing something

I never had

 

The wooden platform

Groans with each move I make

Splintered paradise sending showers

Of unwashed dust

Onto the surface of the water below

These set free, too

To drift to the unknown

 

The fear of being weighted down

The fear of drifting away

Both tugging on my aching biceps

As I lift my wings

And cry.