Door mat man

 

I've always hated the idea

of someone slamming the door in my face

and telling me "You're forgiven, now get lost."

That's not forgiveness,

that's obscene

that selfish grab and run,

leaving someone on the door step

dripping feelings

he never intended to feel

struggling to find answers

while for the other person

on the other side of the door

you cease to exist

that's not forgiveness,

selfish people stroll through their lives

their sharp heals

making mud of other people's feelings

and then say, "Go now,"

find your own way to heal,

as if there was never any feeling

but hateful moments

waking in the panic

in the middle of the night,

the illusive "I love you -- there I said it,"

when it was never real,

just a build up some great disappoint

and the slammed door

catching pieces of you in the lock

"go now, you're forgiven,

you were forgiven long ago,"

easy words to say

when you're locking the locks

and collecting scalps,

and leaving a bloody trail

where your heals

strode over the

door mat man

still struggling to make sense

of "go now, leave me alone,"

as if feelings had nothing to do

with anything,

as if you were the only one

who ever felt anything,

no pain in a slammed door,

go now,

your command, "leave me alone."

Which probably what you wanted

from the start,

but lacked the door to slam

or lock,

lacking enough blood

to cover the whole heal

until now.

"Go now, leave me alone,

who the fuck cares how

you feel anyway."