Jurassic Pond (or Puddle)
Sam Snoop, Private Eye: Episode #2
(This is the full script for one of my Sam Snoop videos)
mailto:asullivan00@comcast.net
SCENE ONE: A worker wearing a hard hat with the logo for a Southern New Jersey Animal Sanctuary gets torn to pieces when feeding an animal – the creature reflected in his sun glasses looks remarkably like a dinosaur
SCDENE TWO: In Sam Snoop’s New York City office
SNOOP: (voice over) When Mary called, I couldn’t believe it. We hadn’t talked much since our breakup too many years earlier for me to keep account of. Sometimes, I caught her in the background on TV when her famous scientist boss gave a press conference from the South Jersey nature reserve she had taken a job at.
We broke up because Mary loved animals more than people – and though she had called me an animal from time to time, she treated me like a people.
MARY: (on the other end of the telephone) Sam, I know this is asking a lot after all this time, but I need your help
SNOOP: I would make some snide remark, but it would only come out sounding stupid. What’s the problem?
MARY: I can’t go into it over the phone. You’ll have to trust me. It’s that important.
SNOOP: Can you give me a clue? Is it animal, vegetable or mineral? Perhaps if we played 20 questions?
MARY: You’ll only believe it when you see it.
SNOOP (voice over) at that point, she gave me driving instructions as to how to get to the institute and pleaded with me to hurry.
SCENE THREE: (Arrival Cape May)
SNOOP: (voice over): The institute was located in a remote wetlands that reminded me of why I hated Jersey where the state bird was the mosquito. And the suspicious doctor an instant dislike to me when he greeted me.
DOCTOR: So you’re the notorious Sam Snoop.
SNOOP: Notorious would be putting a spin on in. But I suppose Mary had some ill feelings after our breakup.
DOCTOR: This is odd you’re showing up here just now.
MARY: I invited Sam. He took always took an interest in my work.
DOCTOR: Which means he would like a tour to see what we do here, I suppose?
SNOOP: A tour would be grant though what I need is a drink.
DOCTOR: The tour is all I can offer, I’m afraid.
SNOOP: You seem nervous, doctor. Is there a problem.
DOCTOR: No problem, Mister Snoop. Why don’t you come this way.
SCENE FOUR: (wandering the sanctuary’s remote paths)
SNOOP: (Voice over) The doctor took us into his world.
DOCTOR: As you can see, Mr. Snoop, we have some of the world’s most exotic species here. This is a safe zone, free from pollution and human hunters. The animals here get to live out their lives as nature intended.
SNOOP: That’s very noble, Doctor. So I suppose this means I shouldn’t be looking for any turkey burgers in the cafeteria?
DOCTOR: We eat no meat here.
SNOOP: Some of these birds walk like Japanese movie dinosaurs.
DOCTOR: That is very observant of you. We believe the birds had a lot to do with dinosaurs. Let me show you something.
SNOOP: (voice over) That’s when he took us to where the bones were
DOCTOR: When you see the bones laid out like this, wouldn’t you agree those ancient dinosaurs bear an uncanny resemblance to our modern birds.
SNOOP: Sure, only I wouldn’t want to dry and kill one of these with a sling shot like I did as a kid.
DOCTOR (looking sharply at Snoop) You killed birds?
SNOOP: I grew up on a farm. Kids my age killed anything that moved.
DOCTOR: How typically human. I supposed you graduated to pulling wings off of butterflies?
SNOOP: Doctor, I can see you’re upset with me.
DOCTOR: On the contrary, I would expect no better from an unenlightened human kind.
SNOOP: I’ve been through this argument with Mary many times. I agree I’m human. But I haven’t killed anything since that didn’t deserve to die.
DOCTOR: But you eat meat.
SNOOP: Some things have to die in order that other things might live. It’s call survival of the fittest.
DOCTOR: At last, we agree on something.
SNOOP: I’m not sure I get you, Doc?
DOCTOR: What if we could go back in time and start all over. The extinction of the Dinosaurs was an accident. An asteroid striking the earth changed the natural process of evolution. Otherwise, they would still rule the earth. Mankind was never meant to inherit this world and would not have except for that accident.
SNOOP: (laughing) Yeah, and if I had kept all my baseball cards from when I was a kid, I’d be a rich man today. Let’s fact it, Doctor. The past is the past. Call it accident or mistake, but we’re here now, top dog in a savage world.
DOCTOR: But what if someone could correct the mistake – bring back the dinosaurs?
SNOOP: What for? So that Steven Spielberg won’t need to use special effects when he makes Jurassic Park 10. Be realistic, Doctor. This isn’t a Spielberg thriller. You can’t clone dinosaurs.
DOCTOR: I have done just that, Mr. Snoop. And the process is well under way. Ask Mary. She had a hand in it.
MARY: It’s true, Sam – though I had no idea what he intended to do when we started the project.
SNOOP: What exactly do you intend to do, Doctor?
DOCTOR: To breed them, then let them loose to see which species – man or dinosaur – is the fittest to survive.
SNOOP: Is that why you brought me here, Mary?
MARY: I was hoping you could stop him, Sam. I couldn’t just go to the police. They would say I was crazy. The doctor has ruined other people who tried. Some he even had killed.
DOCTOR: Fear not, Mary. I won’t have to kill you (he pulls out a gun ) unless I have to. You actually did me a favor by bringing the good detective here. I can test my theory better with him as to which is the most fit species to survive.
MARY: Weren’t the other deaths enough?
SNOOP: Other deaths?
MARY: some workers. He let them loose in the compound and the animals tore them limb from limb.
DOCTOR: They were poor examples of mankind. Here we have a prime example, a former spy, a man with instincts to survive. He will be a more legitimate test (The Doctor – still holding the gun on Snoop – backs towards the vehicle in which they came.) good by, Mary, and good hunting, Mr. Snoop.
MARY: You’re going to leave us here?
DOCTOR: That was the general idea.
MARY: I admit we can’t survive.
DOCTOR: Mr. Snoop does not seem so convinced.
SNOOP: I’m convinced you’re nuts. Why don’t you give me the gun so we can take you to someone who can help you.
DOCTOR: (waves the gun) Don’t or I’ll shoot.
SNOOP: Aren’t you afraid you might hit an innocent animal by accident?
DOCTOR: A comedian to the end. Good bye. (The doctor drives off)
MARY: Now what do we do?
SNOOP: There must be a way out of this place
MARY: He has electrified fences everywhere. Right to the beach.
SNOOP: Beach?
MARY: The dinosaurs can’t swim in the deep water where the fences end.
SNOOP: Come on, then (He grabs her arm) Let’s hope you remember how to swim.
SCENES: (a sequence of monster scene filled with awed faces, screams of fear, “Sam save me,” chases through the jungle, quick witted leaps into narrow spaces where the monsters can’t fit, monster fights among themselves that allow Snoop and Mary to reach the sea alive if not unscathed.
MARY: (breathless) Now what, Sam?
SNOOP: (glancing towards the wetlands out of which they have just emerged) Swim and let’s hope the good doctor hasn’t decided to make a remake of Spielberg’s Jaws, too.
SCENE: (The two swim out, helping each other until they get around the fence, then work their way back to a section of beach on the safe side of the fence. Then, after a long staggering walk, they see the beginning of civilization, a beach-side restaurant into which Snoop boldly walks, his ragged appearance startling the posh patrons. He walks to the manager.
SNOOP: Sorry to intrude without a reservation. Can we use your phone?
(voice over) First mosquitoes, now dinosaurs. Can you blame me for hating Jersey?