From Visions of Garleyville
A Gift for Pauly
The doorbell rang
just as they were sitting down to dinner, a quiet little candle lit affair that
Pauly had been planning for weeks
"Who on
earth...?" Pauly said, slapping down the napkin as the sword fish steaks
cooled.
"If you
don't know," Jane said, "I'm not going to tell you."
"Damn that,
Hank! I told him not to bother us tonight. I told him that I was sick of
spending every Christmas eve running around the streets like kids looking for
Christmas."
"Apparently
he didn't listen," Jane said calmly, "Are you going to let him in or
let him ring the doorbell all night?"
Pauly got up,
crossed the living room and yanked open the front door. Hank sauntered in,
wearing his usual hippie garb.
"Well, well,
if it isn't Santa Claus," Pauly said, as Hank dropped a package on the
couch. "I seem to remember we were going to exchange presents at the club
the day after tomorrow."
"Does that
mean Kenny can't come in and wish you a happy christmas?" Hank asked.
"Kenny? He's
here, too?" Pauly asked, squinting passed Hank towards the beat up Dodge
in which a silhouetted figure sat. "Out! Both of you!"
He didn't give
Hank time to answer but shoved the man and present out, then slammed the door.
************
Hank stared at
the door. Pauly appeared at the curtain to the right and jabbed his finger for
him to go. Hank sighed and slowly walked back to the car.
"Wasn't he
home?" Kenny asked.
"He's there.
But he's in one of his snitty moods again."
"I guess
that settles that," Kenny said.
"Forget
it," Hank said, slipping into the car. "I'm not leaving until Pauly
takes my present."
"So leave it
by the door."
"It might
get stolen."
"But he's not
going to open the door if he knows you're here," Kenny pointed out.
"We'll
see."
***********
Pauly was just
putting the fork to his mouth when the carolling came, the warbling of Hank's
voice loud enough to raise the dead.
"Maybe you
should let them in," Jane said, "They only want to exchange
presents."
"Never!" Pauly grumbled.
"But if they
keep singing like that..."
"If only I
had an old boot!" Pauly said and pushed himself away
"But if they
keep on singing like that..."
"All
right," Pauly grumbled and went to the door, yanking it open wide enough
to shout. "Shut up or I'll call the cops."
Kenny and Hank
hit the door at once, trying to shove the box in through the opening. But Pauly
managed to shut and lock it. "The damned fools!"
***********
"Maybe we
should leave him alone," Kenny suggested. "It is Christmas."
"Sure it's
Christmas," Hank said, seated again behind the wheel of the car, his face
red with anger. "And he tries this every year, pretending like he doesn't
know his friends. But I got news for him."
Hank started the
car.
"Where are
we going now?"
"For help,
Kenny."
***********
Pauly watched the
car pull away from the window. "There they go."
"Well, at
least that's settled," Jane said. "Come back and eat your
dinner."
"Like hell
it's settled. Hank never gives up that easy. Get your coat."
"What on
earth for?"
"We're going
out."
"What about
dinner?"
"We'll be
back before it gets cold. I just want them to think we're gone."
"I don't know
about this, Pauly."
"I do. Just
hurry up. They'll be back soon."
***********
No sooner were
they in the blue Voltswagon, then Hank returned, followed by a small school bus
loaded with carollers, all of them singing as they flowed out onto the walk
before Pauly's door.
"Duck!"
Pauly hissed as they passed.
"This is
silly, Pauly," Jane said. "I'm not going to spend Christmas cramped
up in your car."
"You won't
have to," Pauly said, peaking out through the steering wheel. "I just
want them to get settled before we make our escape."
***********
Hank's head
jerked aside with the sound of the putting VW engine. Behind them, the car
backed out of its parking spot and gunned down the hill towards the highway.
Hank howled and
ran towards his car. "Just keep them singing," he shouted to Kenny,
then sped on after Pauly.
***********
"He's right
behind us!" Jane said as the Dodge bumped the VW.
"It's the
damned red light," Pauly howled, "If it hadn't been for that we'd
been clean away. But we can still do it. I know some tricks that will raise the
hair on that fool's neck."
"I don't
think we should be doing this," Jane said, as Pauly weaved the VW between
the other cars.
"We have to
get off this highway," Pauly said, "Once the damned traffic clears,
he'll be on us like a hound."
"Why can't
you just accept his present?" Jane asked, "And we can go back to
dinner."
"Because he
does this every year! For once I'm going to have my Christmas in peace."
Pauly turned off
the highway and into Little Falls, the old mountain looming to the left like a
chunk of missing sky. The valley was a web-work of dirt roads over which he and
Hank had wandered as boys. The headlights illuminated ditches and other
possible disasters.
Pauly weaved the
car though the maze, bounding over the bumps.
"Pauly, Please!"
Jane protested, "This is all so stupid!"
"Don't
worry," Pauly said, "We're going to stop soon. I have the perfect
hiding place."
And it was. A
slot cut into a stand of thick pines well hidden from the road. The car stopped
on a slant, leaving them pressed slightly forward. He turned off the lights and
the engine.
"Now let him
find us," Pauly said.
"I'm getting
stiff," Jane complained, "And hungry. Can we go home now? We haven't
heard his car for a while."
But Pauly shook
his head. "No, no, you don't know Hank like I do. He's out there, that son
of a bitch, just waiting to pounce on us. We're going to have to wait him
out."
"But for how
long?" Jane asked, shivering.
"As long as
it takes."
***********
Hank pulled the
car up to where Kenny was sitting at the curb. The carollers had long gone.
"I lost
him," Hank mumbled as he climbed from the Dodge. "I guess were going
to have to the leave the present by the door after all."
Only when he
reached the door, he found it ajar.
"Pauly?" Hank called as he pushed it
in. A dim light illuminated the apartment from the kitchen.
No answer came.
"Dinner's
getting cold," Hank said. "It would be a shame for it to go to
waste."
"Hank!"
Kenny said. "You're not thinking..."
"Pull up a
chair, Kenny. There's plenty to go around...."