The trouble with George Lucas

 

 

Friday, May 13, 2011

            I was having my birthday lunch with Michele when told me she had applied for a job at Lucas Films.

            An administrative position which she figured she could do despite her background as a librarian and governmental press person.

            Then, she told me she had used me as a reference.

            “I forgot all about you and Spielberg,” she said. “And since Spielberg and Lucas are friends, I don’t suppose I’ll get the job.”

            I panicked.

            My friend needs a job on the west coast so that she can move to San Francisco, and the one job opportunity she might get, I screw up for her – by accident.

            I supposed she was right, and when I got back to my office, I contemplated how I might make it better for her – always a mistake when dealing with the gods of the entertainment world.

            This also comes at a time when I am about to launch into a parody of Star Wars, certain to offend Lucas the way my parodies offended Spielberg

            So I did what I always do, I wrote a letter

 

Dear Mr. Lucas:

            A friend of mine, Michele ---- from Bayonne, New Jersey, recently applied for an administrative position in one of your firms located near San Francisco, where she hopes to relocate if she gets the job.

            The problem is – she used me as a reference.

            I’ve known her for 20 years and she’s a great human being and a very competent person. So I wouldn’t want you to disregard her qualities because she is unfortunate enough to have me as a friend.

            Over the last five or six years, I pretty regularly pissed off your friend Steven Spielberg – walking through his sets when he filmed in Bayonne and since doing a number of parody films he probably didn’t appreciate.

            This should not reflect ill on my friend, Michele, since she knows me for my good side (yes, even I sometimes walk on the lighter side of the force) and she is very reliable despite her poor taste in me as a friend.

            During lunch with her today, she mentioned that she had applied for a job with one of your firms, and she panicked when she realized she had used me as a reference and that my ill reputation with Spielberg might affect her being considered for the job.

            While I’m pretty sure I am an insignificant speck on the windshield of your star cruiser, I sincerely hope that nothing I do or say will affect your decision to hire or not hire Michele.

            I can’t help being a loose canon. But befriending Michele was one of my better choices in my life, and your hiring or not hiring her should be based on her qualities, not my past record of annoying Mr. Spielberg.

           

            After this, I faxed, email and snail mailed the letter to Lucas Films, and a few hours later, Lucas Films sought out my resume on line.

            I haven’t a clue what the impact will be, but I’m certain it can’t be good.

            One does not mess in the affairs of gods and come out better for it.

            Oh well.